The neighbor across the way leaves all of his blinds open all day.

I've noticed his routine... It must be weird, but I think he wants to be watched.

textsfromlastnight.com

"Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way."